It happens when it’s time
Generally when someone leaves an abusive relationship it happens for the same reason flowers bloom: because it was time. Something just shifts, and suddenly you’re seeing things you weren’t seeing before. You start noticing patterns, noticing manipulations, noticing the malice in the abuser’s face that you’d previously compartmentalized away from seeing.
And then when you leave the reality of it doesn’t often make for a great Hollywood movie or Hallmark TV special. It doesn’t fit well into egoically gratifying stories. A process just kind of plays itself out, some things happen in ways you probably didn’t anticipate, and then one day you’re not waking up next to the same person anymore. You might try to tell heroic stories about it, or others might do that on your behalf, but really it just kind of happened when the happening was ripe. —Caitlin Johnstone, Revolution, Awakening, And Leaving Abusive Relationships All Happen In Unexpected Ways
That’s how any change happens — when it’s time. A pot of water can sit there on stove for minutes without looking like anything is happening. But then it starts to boil.
It will happen when it happens.
So don’t despair if it looks like things aren’t headed toward change. The boiling water, the escaped abuse victim, and the deeply enlightened mind all looked the same at one point. ( ibid.)
- previously: noticing the block means you’re ready to do the work
- see also: flow, don’t force, for the world is a vessel that can’t be forced
- see also: if you must do something, create the conditions necessary for change