Choosing the familiar doesn’t take you somewhere new
When you’re stuck or encountering an obstacle: choosing the least familiar path is the best way forward. Going with what feels safe can keep you stuck in that loop. Forging new terrain, scary as it is, is the way to get somewhere better.
Oftentimes, you might feel that you’re stuck between a rock and hard place—there are two sets of unpleasant feelings, one on either side, that you’re having to choose between. When you’re feeling trapped like this, it can seem as if there’s no way to win, since no matter which direction you go, there is pain. Life is like that sometimes.
But here’s a thing to consider: generally, there will be one set of feelings in a situation like this that you’re more comfortable with. For example, for the person who fears intimacy, loneliness isn’t pleasant, but it feels safe to a degree because it’s familiar. If that person chooses the route of loneliness, their growth is limited because they’re not going anywhere they haven’t been. The set of feelings in the other direction might involve contact with old wounds around closeness and self-worth, and seeing how those wounds come up in close relationships. This second route may be a lot more terrifying, understandably. But at least there is space to grow there, room for new learning. And it’s always good to remember that in these situations, you have a choice. You get to decide what getting unstuck is worth to you. You get to choose what, when, and how you’re willing to feel what needs to be felt in order for movement to happen. —Jessica Dore, Tarot for Change
- previously: noticing the block means you’re ready to do the work
- see also: confusion is a crucible, an ideal time for unsticking patterns of behavior that are doing us harm