There’s a wealth of good relationship knowledge hidden in here, apart from any kink or power play stuff, like: Abuse is best recognized by the effect it has on the abused.
In fact, he has a list of questions to ask yourself when you’re involved in any type of relationship, and I’m gonna recap it here, because it should be mandatory reading, and deserves a much wider audience than people reading kink books:
- Do you feel fundamentally safe?
- Can you tell your partner what you really think and how you really feel? Do they listen?
- Are they interested in your needs, limits, and desires, and do they prioritize, respect, and support them?
- Do they express their emotions in a healthy way, and allow you to express yours in a healthy way?
- Do they take responsibility for themselves?
- Do they have your best interests at heart?
- Do they encourage you to get other perspectives and seek other sources of support?
- Do you feel fulfilled and happy?
- Do you feel any fear, tension, or a heavy, dreadful feeling that you wish you could avoid?
- Are you confident you could change your boundaries, or end the relationship if you wanted? Would they take it well and respect your decision?
- Does it feel good? Relationships can be challenging and can mean not getting your way about a lot of things, but it should always be something you want to be doing, not just something that you endure, or that you accept because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t, because that’s the only way your partner will love you, or because it’s what you’ve been told you should do.
brb, wanna apply this to all romance novels, relationships, and basically life.